3D technology has come a long way, but that hasn’t stopped some of the worst 3D movies of all time from being released over the last few years. Here are three films that should probably have put more money into plot, acting, and overall quality than 3D technology.
Sure, the 2011 story of Thunder-god-sent-to-earth-as-punishment lit up the box office in 2D, but the movie makers also decided to add in a few 3D effects. Unfortunately, they didn’t do a very good job. Take off your glasses during Thor 3D and you’ll see the film looks nearly identical—it doesn’t have the distinctive “blur” that comes when movie scenes are filmed with two differently polarized camera lenses. Much like the red and blue images of old-school 3D, layering polarized film causes an image to look fuzzy to anyone not wearing 3D glasses. The makers of Thor, however, shot the movie using standard cameras and then tossed in a few 3D effects for good measure. Too bad they’re not worth the cost of admission.
There’s not much about a film filled with flesh-hungry piranhas to recommend it in the first place, but here the abysmal use of 3D actually makes this “horror” film worse. Sure, it could have been scary to have toothy fish leap out of the screen or tear into shrieking co-eds, but instead the effects come off as cheap and entirely lackluster. The plot certainly doens’t redeem the film, and the “acting” is laughable. If you’re looking to get the best value for your 3D dollar, look somewhere else—Piranha 3DD ranks as one of the worst 3D movies of all time.
Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience
Even if you like this Disney boy band, there’s little reason to watch this “3D” film. This isn’t an adventure movie, a horror film, or a wonderfully imaginative cartoon that lends itself to the judicious use of 3D effects. No, this is a behind-the-scenes look at the making of a Jonas Brothers concert tour, and as a result is not a good candidate for any kind of 3D technology. This goes for the concert genre as a whole: Flailing arms and flying guitar picks do not showcase the power of 3D technology, and will disappoint if you’re hoping for a unique viewing experience. Unless you’re a die-hard fan, steer clear.
A Better Option?
If nothing else, the worst 3D movies might encourage you to do something more enjoyable with your time, like read a book or play a favorite video game. But if you find yourself straining to see words on the page—or having trouble with the fantastic effects in a great 3D movie like James Cameron’s Avatar—it might be time to consider laser vision correction. The constant need for glasses or contacts in 3D theaters (or when reading a great book) can start to wear, especially when it comes to fitting bulky 3D lenses over even smaller-sized frames. Custom Wavefront procedures from LASIK MD can correct all eye issues including astigmatism, nearsightedness, and farsightedness. Speedy recovery times mean only a few weeks between vision correction and the ability to toss on a pair of 3D glasses and enjoy any other 3D film than those listed above. After all, there’s no point in wasting great new vision on the worst 3D movies ever made.